The cats have decided the toilet belongs to them. And though one of them (my guess is Toby) refuses to poop on the damn thing, they have both decided that this toilet is their toilet. I can no longer leave the bathroom door open when I pee because I end up with an angry cat in my lap, staring indignantly at me.
But Jon is a man. He does not have to worry about an angry cat in his lap because he pees standing up, like a man. And he does not shut the bathroom door. Because it's more manly to leave it open. Apparently.
So a few nights ago, Jon went to use the toilet, like a man. And Bear got curious and possessive, like a cat. And Bear is dumb. So Bear stuck his head up over the side of the toilet bowl. Jon was not paying attention and didn't notice the cat-head slowly moving upward until it was too late.
From the other room I hear Jon shout "Oh My God!!!!" Bear bolted from the bathroom and ran to me, frantically trying to rub his head on my feet. Jon was close behind with a roll of toilet paper shouting, "Oh my god, I peed on your cat!" It occurred to me that my cat was trying to use my feet as toilet paper, and so I ran away, jumping onto the kitchen counter where he couldn't reach me. Finally Jon chased him down and wiped him off.
Bear hid in the corner by the front door the rest of the night.
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